A month ago, I heard Moira Dela Torre’s cover of Hoku’s You First Believed. (See video below)
How have you been? I know you’re happy and well wherever you are. You probably know already, but I still wanted to say it. I miss you. Everyday.
My memories of you are pretty vague and yet my heart still swells at the thought of you. It hurts so bad because I miss you so much.
I wish you were here.
I wish you were her for a number of things.
- I wish you were here to see how I turned out to be and I think you would be proud.
- I wish you were here to see every milestone — from graduations to my debut.
- And I wish you were still here to see even the simplest of moments. Or even to wipe my tears away when I cry. Nanay, I miss you so much.
Nobody knows me the way that you do.
Because even if we’re universes apart, you know all of my deepest secrets, my darkest thoughts, and my wildest of dreams. You even hear my silent cries at night. And I’ll always be thankful because I can always find myself captured in the embrace of your presence and that is what puts me to sleep after a good cry. My heart is filled with only gratitude because you listen to me when nobody else does. Dabest ka, Nanay!
Nay, I have plenty more to say but I can’t even complete one sentence without breaking a tear. Next time na lang, Nay. Or I’ll whisper it to the wind hoping that you would hear me.
Mahal na mahal kita, Nanay!
Hanggang sa muli,